Tag Archives: summer

Summer Blockbusters, Allegedly 5.18.2018

Here are this week’s new releases as per Rotten Tomatoes.
Deadpool 2 (2018)
Everybody’s favorite Merc with a Mouth is back, and this time he’s got some new friends, as Deadpool teams up with a band of soldiers to protect a young mutant from being kidnapped by a time-traveling commando named Cable.
Directed By:David Leitch
Ruth’s Review: I’m over Ryan Reynolds doing Ryan Reynolds. I liked him in Two Guys, A Girl and a Pizza Place. He is as almost one tick pony-ish as John Krasinksi.
Book Club (2018)
Diane Keaton, Jane Fonda, Candice Bergen, and Mary Steenburgen star in this comedy for the older set, about four lifelong friends whose lives are rejuvenated when they all decide to read Fifty Shades of Grey together.
Directed By:Bill Holderman
Ruth’s Review: Can you imagine how bad that set must’ve smelled? The old lady, dry mouths alone must’ve been unbearable.
Show Dogs (2018)
If talking animals are your thing, you’ll want to check out this family comedy, which stars Will Arnett as a detective and Ludacris as the voice of his canine partner, as the pair go undercover to solve a case at a prestigious dog show.
Directed By:Raja Gosnell
Ruth’s Review: I suppose kids need something to watch. Glad to see Ludacris hasn’t sold out.
On Chesil Beach (2018) 59%
Oscar nominee Saoirse Ronan stars in this period drama that recounts the romance between a young grad student and a violinist from vastly different cultural bakgrounds.
Directed By:Dominic Cooke
Ruth’s Review: This just seems like every other romance film ever made. Way to change the game up Hollywood!
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Summer Blockbusters, Allegedly 5.11.2018

Here are this week’s new releases as per Rotten Tomatoes.
Breaking In (2018)
In something of a reversal of David Fincher’s Panic Room, this thriller follows a determined mother (Gabrielle Union) attempting to break into a fortified home to save her children from the band of robbers who have taken it over.
Directed By:James McTeigue
Ruth’s Review: The tagline is horrendous, doesn’t fair well for the movie.
Melissa McCarthy teams up with her husband, director Ben Falcone, for their third outing together in this comedy about a recently single mother who decides to go back to college and ends up in the same class as her daughter.
Directed By:Ben Falcone
Ruth’s Review: So basically a Back to School ripoff without the great Rodney Dangerfield. No way Jose.
Terminal (2018)
Margot Robbie, Simon Pegg, and Mike Myers headline this stylized crime thriller about a pair of hitmen whose mysterious — but lucrative — mission is compromised by an equally mysterious woman.
Directed By:Vaughn Stein
Ruth’s Review: Looks boring, maybe if she shows tits that could save this.
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Summer Blockbusters, Allegedly 5.4.2018

This weekend marks the kickoff of summer, well according to the Hollywood film Industry, so lets see what entertainment they will be providing to the masses, as per Rotten Tomatoes.

David Tennant stars in this thriller from Geostorm director Dean Devlin about a thieving valet (Robert Sheehan) who encounters more than he bargained for when he finds a captive woman in the home of a wealthy victim.
Directed By:Dean Devlin
Ruth’s Review: Lame, okay, we get it, all rich people do bad things, meanwhile, all the news articles I read about women being held captive are perpetrated by those who are not in financial excess and also usually from cultural backgrounds that are not European.
Overboard (2018)
In this gender-swapped remake of the 1987 film, Anna Faris plays a working-class mother who saves the life of a spoiled, wealthy playboy (Eugenio Derbez) and pretends to be his wife when she realizes he lost his memory in the accident.
Directed By:Rob Greenberg
Ruth’s Review: “What a horrible wig.” Why touch this classic? Goldie Hawn was perfection. Of course they need to gender swap, because you know Girl Power! Gross.
Tully (2018) 89%
Director Jason Reitman reunites with writer Diablo Cody and star Charlize Theron in this comedy about a struggling single mother of three who forms an unlikely bond with the young nanny (Mackenzie Davis) her brother has hired for her.
Directed By:Jason Reitman
Ruth’s Review: Great, because Young Adult wasn’t a complete abortion, lets get this great team back together! But don;t worry guys, this will have some of Diablo Cody’s riveting witty lines. Barf!
RBG (2018) 100%
This biographical documentary hones in on the untold story of U.S. Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, recounting her professional triumphs and revealing seldom shared details about her personal life.
Directed By:Betsy WestJulie Cohen
Ruth’s Review: A Supreme Court Judge should bot be a celebrity. This is why people blame Jews for everything.
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It is the last day of July and I feel like the summer is almost over.

I have virtually no tan.

I am still too fat for summer.

I have not done anything remotely fun.

What a summer bummer? Am I right gang?

I think I’m just going to have to really take advantage of August.

However, the problem with that is that it would require me to be motivated to do something.

That’s a hurdle that my fat ass is not capable of jumping.

Looks like the remainder of the summer will be sent like the first part, looking like a bloated version of Powder.

Hey, it’s like Buddy Holly said, “There ain’t not cure for the summertime blues.”

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Too Nice

The problem with really nice weather is that you feel guilty if you’re not optimizing it. I don’t want to be outside. I want to be inside watching movies like I do in the winter months and when I don’t feel like I’m wasting my time. The only time I want to be outside all day is when I’m at work because I’m forced to be inside. During my free time, I don’t want to venture into the sunlight.

What’s there to do outside?

Sure I go for  walks, but that’s like an hour tops, then what?

This being outdoors in the summer all the time propaganda stinks.

I don;t have a pool and even if I did how long can you sit in it?

I don’t live close enough to the beach, but even if I did, who could go there everyday?

The only part of summer I enjoy is the warm temperature and even that stinks because most of the time I’m stuck in that freezer box they call an office building.

I just don’t like feeling obligated to do something just because the weather is dictating that I do so.

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