The Eurozone is a union of European countries that have committed to having the euro as their form of common currency. Now, we all know that our global economy is in the dumper but I have been reading many articles about countries that are in the Eurozone that are faltering. Now I don’t have a way of solving the economic issue but I do have some theories as to how certain countries got into the monetary mess that they are currently experiencing. (Yes, there are 17 countries in the Eurozone but I’m only referencing a few.)
Greece: Well we all know that Greece is bankrupt, it’s down and out in Beverly Hills, and it’s over for our unctuous, olive-toned buddies. They have to accept responsibility for their carless actions though. Perhaps they should not have been throwing all those dishes around willy-nilly. Do you have any idea how much nice chinaware costs? Replacing those plates alone could make a person have to file for Chapter 11. I’m guessing the “oopahs” are few and far between nowadays.
Spain: Well our European Mexicans are now totally fucked as well. Again, totally their fault. Maybe they shouldn’t be wasting all their time on running from bulls. If you get trampled you can’t work, if you can’t work you can’t make money, if you can’t make money that’s a fucking problem. Don’t even get me started on their carelessness with tomatoes. Tomatina should be banned at this point. Why don’t these fuckers try and sell some of these tomatoes instead of throwing them around in a wasteful manner? Stand on the corners with bag full’s like your Mexican cousins do with oranges!
Ireland: The unemployment rate is at 14.8 percent. Oh you can’t get to work but you can sit in a pub and drink all day. Tisk, tisk my potato eaters. Shame on you.
France: Maybe if France wasn’t known for its snobby cuntishness they could have generated a tad more tourism but no you have to be bitchy dicks. You’re like the hot chick that just got snubbed and you can’t believe it. Ha ha.
Germany: Well, the Germans aren’t doing too shabby but they kind of have to be doing well. I mean they’re still working on their PR from the WWII debacle. So these fuckers have to help out the other countries. If they don’t you know all they will hear is, “They’re being total Nazi’s about this whole bailing out thing.” Plus, the Germans are probably doing well from all the nice shit they took from the Jews back in the day that they secretly held on to and have slowly but surely sold over the years.
Now I know we here in the States are totally fucked when it comes to economy. We are China’s dirty whore. The interesting thing is that most American’s can’t wrap their heads around the fact they we’re no longer number one. Don’t know what I mean, let me break it down. America was once years ago a really super hot smoke show chick that every other country was trying to fuck. America knew that it was super hot and thus led other countries on and manipulated them to get what she wanted. Just as with any hot chick, time goes by and the years take their toll on hard living. Now America is the old version of a hot chick, she looks a little bit ragged, some wrinkles, wear and tear and of course weight gain. But here is the problem, just like any hot girl that ages poorly she refuses to accept what she looks like, she still believes she’s as hot as she once was when in reality she is putrid. I mean not even cougar status, just old and dumpy. I mean there are still a few countries out there who would still stick it in her just for the story o laugh about with their friends later but they have kind of moved on. They all want the hot Russian mail order bride, the Chinese concubines or the Middle Easter harem.