Amy Schumer recently sated in an interview that she feels bad for hot women and I’m confident that hot women feel bad for Amy’s chairs.
I was going for a stroll the other morning and I was passing by a home that was getting new roofing.
As I walked closer I happened to notice that the roofers were fine as fuck.
They looked good, bronzed skin against those neon yellow t-shirts that were sort of tight and showed off their muscles.
Like these guys looked like they were a stripper version of what a roofer is.
Of course, being the pervert that I am the first thing that I thought was imagine if I just said, “Hi boys, do you know what an Eiffel Tower is?”
Why? Why do I think these things?
Anyway, I moseyed by and just did a head nod with a good morning. I still think I could’ve down okay with my opening line.
It’s a numbers game, you have to take some chances.
I realized the other day that guys that are white trash, for some odd reason, love me. They flock to me like bees to a hive. I’m not even saying they are white trash in a mean-spirited way, it’s just a matter of fact. The best part is that they are not only white trash, but they are like these super huge, jacked guys. I mean they are monster sized people. This poses a problem as I am fully appalled by them, but I also don’t want to make any enemies. They seem like nice enough dudes, but I’m all set. A sticky situation as you can see.
I’m telling you, they approach me at the gymnasium, supermarket, basically any public place. They thing that baffles me is that I don’t think I give off a welcoming air, not to mention any sort of sense of trashiness. I don’t get why they all adore me.
There’s nothing wrong with being white trash, but as David Broom from the Real World New Orleans would say, “Woo, woo, that ain’t my thing.” Yes, I realize the dated nature of that reference, but I’m old and obsolete. What’s a good white trash repellent? Besides a black guy.