Tag Archives: death


I am really at my wits’ end with this job of mine. I always joke that I will pull out my box cutter when I don’t want to do something. However, this is just a veiled threat.

I wonder if actually did pull out the box cutter if anybody would notice and if  they did, how long would it take them to realize?

I’m not going to, but I do fantasize about it. It’s my only way to escape. Yes, this may seem drastic, but I do look for other job options. As soon as my ship comes in, I’m out of this hellhole.

Until then, let me enjoy my sweet dreams.

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A woman that I work with recently passed away. It was very shocking as it was completely unexpected. I sat right next to her and luckily, she was a great neighbor.

When the announcement came, everybody was visibly devastated, welled-up eyes and tears. It makes sense, she had been with the company for almost twenty years.

I know they say everybody handles death differently, but I know this woman wouldn’t want us to be sad.

Every time somebody comes up to see if I’m okay, which yes, I’m as fine as somebody can be under the circumstances, they seem to be the ones who are not fine. So now I have to listen to them talk through things. It’s like a morbid merry-go-round. So I am making these people laugh with little stories to cheer them up. This is exhausting.

Somewhere this co-worker who died is laughing her ass off at me. She knows that this is like my worst nightmare. I have to talk with people about the same thing over and over. At least somebody is getting some joy out of this.


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United We Fall

Donald Trump says he will unite the country. Although this sounds great in theory, this is a huge mistake. Why? Well, every person who has ever attempted to unite us in the history of this country has met with a rather untimely death. I do not want this to be how the story ends for President-Elect Trump.

Think about the list of those who tried to bring the country together, JFK, his brother Bobby, MLK, Malcolm X (when he re-thought his stance on whitey.) The proof is in the pudding.

I know I sound like a conspiracy theory nut but look at all the race baiting from the media, Ferguson, Trayvon, Black Lives Matter. They love to divide us. They want us to not get along.

Of course, it would be wonderful if there was more solidarity but from the looks of it, it’s not going to happen any time soon. Well, at least not as long as Soros is paying people $15 an hour to protest whatever it is he tells them to protest.

It’s sad that the people who run this country are trying to destroy us from the inside. I truly believe that Trump wants more harmony in the U.S.. I just hope he does not end up a casualty.

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What Is Life?


So here’s the million dollar question that I suppose we all ask ourselves at the very least at one point in our lives, what’s the point to life? It drives me up a wall because I feel like with anything what’s the point in doing something if there’s no purpose to it. So why are we all just moving through this world and not questioning what it is that we are really accomplishing the end of the day? Some people believe that this life is about finding love and happiness through marriage and family. To them I rebut what about all the divorces, broken homes, not properly parented children, financial stresses and more stress in general from figuring out how to properly provide for your family in every aspect. It seems to me you receive more negative facets with this scenario than positive returns. People who believe this is the reason for life are usually co-dependent and fear being alone. Unfortunately, being surrounded by people is not a cure for loneliness.

Others believe that being industrious in their careers and making money is what makes this life worth living. I have been surrounded by the extremely affluent as well as those of very meager means and I’ve learned an important thing money doesn’t mean shit, it just makes certain parts of life easier to deal with and it’s one less concern. I do believe that there is something very gratifying from working hard and feeling a sense of accomplishment but this is not the case for most. Most people work very diligently at thankless jobs and never experience any gratification. Let’s say you get your dream careers, then what? It means nothing in the bigger picture. Twenty years from now nobody will remember you were the CEO.

This brings me to my next point which is fame. Some people believe this life is about be recognized, known and established. What good is that? Take a huge star like Britney Spears, everybody knows her name, do you believe fifty years from now people will give a shit? They may know the name but it doesn’t mean shit to them. I know who Veronica Lake is but that name doesn’t mean much to most people and she was a big-time movie starlet. It doesn’t matter what you do in this life, you will be easily forgotten, out of sight, out of mind.

Now, some people believe that being selfless and helping the less fortunate is what life is about. I think it may be a rewarding feeling but unfortunately most people just pretend to give a fuck. Like all those twats who posted links to the Joseph Kony campaign a few months ago. You think posting a link to your Facebook makes you look socially aware, not it makes you look like a pretentious cunt. I bet the majority of these people did nothing else to help that cause nor do they think about it today. The worst part is the people who really do believe in helping the downtrodden are overlooked and don’t receive much aid in their causes. I just think that as much as people engage in philanthropic acts that when push comes to shove it is pointless because there’s way too much suffering and pain in this sad world, you can barely make a dent into fixing things.

I just don’t know what we’re all doing here. Maybe it’s just a big time kill. I don’t fault people who commit suicide. I get it. This world is more sad than happy so what’s the big deal about staying in it. It makes sense to me why some people would rather feel nothing. Don’t worry I’m not suicidal or anything, I would not kill myself, well at least not at this juncture in my life. Why? Because my suicide would make too many people happy and I want to stay alive just to spite them. Maybe that’s the answer to my question, maybe the point of my life is to be here just to spite those that dislike me, and every breath I take is sticking it to those individuals. I guess I could get on board with that, the point to my life is spreading dickishness, like a Bizzaro Mother Teresa.

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