Here, in good old New England, the winter season is lengthy and depressing; at least it is for me. I detest the cold, I am not a fan of the snow and I do not particularly care any of the holidays that fall during this time period. This time of year makes me relate to Jack Torrance in The Shining. I am basically trapped inside like it is the Overlook Hotel and I feel as if I am slowly descending into madness. It is a complete case of cabin fever meets a serious case of boredom. So what can be done to alleviate this onset of madness?
As I am not one for winter sports, or any sport for that matter (I’ll watch them, I just won’t play them.) what sort of activity, hobby or interest could I delve in to in order to maintain some semblance of sanity? Many suggest that I take up one of my old interests, drinking. Well, as much as I do enjoy some beverages this is just not a viable option at my age. I get horrendous hangovers and my drunk driving abilities have completely deteriorated with age and being without gainful employment how can I afford to pay to fix any damage I inflict to my vehicle? So to drink like it is 2007 is out of the question for me.
Some propose that I stick to my prescription pills and have a pill pop happy hibernation period. As much as we all love some good meds, this will just contribute more to the stir craziness factor. Nothing good ever happens with pills as it makes your brain come up with crazy thoughts and scenarios, at least that’s what happens with me, and I can’t afford to go off on some weirdo tangent.
Others have advocated that I really focus on my creative endeavors. Sure that sounds like it may be a fulfilling venture but I am lazy and it is winter, it is like Mother Nature is encouraging me to be a sloth and do nothing that requires any effort. Plus if I start writing a song to follow up my other hit songs such as, Stick It In My Pooper, I’m Gonna Smash (On You) and I Heart Pussy Farts then it would be like egging on the wackiness because I’m pretty sure one of the first signs of slowly sinking into madness is humming made up tunes to yourself.
Well, hopefully I don’t go so crazy that I have to visit the mental ward as my only basis for comparison are old movies like One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest. (Best line from that movie, “Jack Dunphy’s full of shit!” uttered by Christopher Lloyd as the character of Taber.) Jack Nicholson really had a run there with the crazy pants characters in films. Maybe I can do some sort of study about Jack Nicholson’s career and the progression of character choices with charts and graphs to keep myself occupied because that’s not nutty at all.