Tag Archives: beach

Mmmmmm Drop

Holy crap, this 40 degree temperature change is killing me.

I should have stayed in Jamaica. Tom Cruise lived there in Cocktail, why not me?

I guess I would never last out there though, being a third world country, the incessant pot smoking, the snails pace in which people move and those annoying accents.

The people there are way too joyous, or mellow as they say. It really makes me sick. The carefree attitudes, it;s mental.

I don’t want to be mellow and relaxed, I like to be uptight and uncomfortable, it’s my nature.

I’m never going to make it through this New England winter.

On the bright side there are only about 117 days to go, I’m sure it will fly by.


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Castles In The Sand

I was walking along the beach the other day and I saw a used condom in the sand and I thought to myself, gross, who still uses condoms?

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Heavens to Betsy, I am always stunned by other people’s conversations.

No, I was not eavesdropping, I was simply at the beach minding my own business and the blasted wind carried the conversations to my ears. Trust me, I wish it hadn’t. Holy smokes, are we in trouble as a society.

I’m not claiming I’m some genius or highbrow intellect but the topics that were being discussed in a serious manner were unbelievable.

Discussion included such topics such as  Mariah Carey’s Glitter Soundtrack, Pauly D and Aubrey O’Day (yes, I’m fully ashamed that I know who they are,) engagement stories and diamond quality of engagement rings, bathing suit cuts that are most flattering on various body types and a thorough discussion of some reality television shit show.

That was just to name a few, even the people who were having a “political” discussion were just as vacuous. As the woman sat in her head-to-toe I’m With Her gear, she started shrieking about the RNC and all the supposed celebrities, mocking Scott Baio.

First of all, I get it, he may not be a superstar but he looks good. I’d rather look at him over the disgusting pigs they propped up at the DNC.  ( I don’t even need to name names for you to figure out who I’m referencing.) Second, he is a celebrity to me, Charles In Charge was my shit. Lastly, he ran through every hot female in Hollywood in their prime and was the first to do it. He’s like Neil Armstrong.

Anyway, I still can’t get over the topics; no politics, movies, current events, financial, economy, real estate, nothing adult.

It’s very peculiar.

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Notes On A Beach Trip

Observations from my recent trip to the beach:

  • In my youth you could easily spot the white trash families because the parent’s had tattoos; now every parent has a tattoo and because of this I just defer to the judgement that they are all white trash.
  • Either people are really fat or really skinny; there is no in between. (I fall into the former category.)
  • In the words of the late, great Patrice O’Neal, “I’m a creep, nigga!” Those teen girls are looking stacked. When I was in high school there may have been one or two girls that had bodies like that, now the majority of them are rocking.
  • Couples that walk along the shore line have the most inane conversations. This crosses cultures as it was not only English speaking dialogues but the Russian ones as well. It makes me understand when I read a news story about a murder of a significant other.
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