Tag Archives: baby

Baby, Baby, Baby

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Radio stations are banning the Christmas song, “Baby, It’s Cold Outside.”

This is because of the psychotic Me Too movement.

They say the lyrics are antiquated. Basically, a guy is trying to get a girl to stay over and she’s saying no because people will think she’s a whore.

So what’s wrong with that? Spending the night is whorey. Who cares?

It’s a song. God forbid women are raised thinking that being is slut is not all it’s cracked up to be.

I hate women, they ruin everything.

 

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Congratulations! Cigars For Everybody!

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I finally realized why mothers love showing pictures off of their babies. It totally makes sense. I took the most unbelievable, miraculous shit of my life today, I mean, I gave birth to that son of a bitch. I was so proud of this specimen all I wanted to do was take pictures of it and show everybody and be like, “Do you see that? That’s my baby!”

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I’m Being Responsible Yet I’m The Asshole

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I don’t want children. I don’t want to give birth to them. I don’t want to adopt them. I don’t want them. Now, this throws people because in their simple minds they assume just because I have a vagina I want kids. Well sorry to break it to you but I have no intentions of ever having children in any sort of capacity. I felt this way when I was fifteen and I continue to feel this way even at thirty-two. Why? There are a few reasons for this. The first is that it is a great responsibility and I don’t want to give up not having any attachments. The second is that there is a huge problem with overpopulation. Lastly, I have no commonality with kids, I don’t get the big deal, they’re just people who are short, well, so are midgets and I don’t want any of them running around me either.

When I tell people that this is my stance on kids they think that I’m being a bitch or an asshole. Actually, I’m just being honest. I think women feel a stigma like they’re horrible if they don’t want kids, lucky for me I don’t give a shit what people think. I’m honest enough to admit that I’m too selfish and self-involved to have a kid. Having kids is the biggest responsibility a person can take on in life and unfortunately I see the way people parent nowadays and in my opinion they shouldn’t have had kids to begin with.

It’s like somebody once said to me, “Once you have kids, everything stops being about you and it’s ALL about them.” I agree completely with this statement. You have to put your kids first; they are your top priority. I see these parents who throw their kids in daycare all week and then on the weekends go out and get hammered. I’m sorry but this not how you raise a family. First of all, if you have kids one of the parents should be at home with them, I’m not saying it has to be the woman but it has to be one of them. Or if you’re lucky you can have the baby’s grandparents take care of it. Sticking a child in daycare while you go to work is the exact reason why I see these savage children running around. They don’t learn anything; from manners and morals to actual verbal skills. Until your kid is ready to go off to school somebody has to watch them and teach them how to act right.

These parents I see that go out every weekend and drink like they: a. aren’t married and b. don’t have kids make me sick. I can’t remember either one of my parents going out until we were substantially older and when they did they went out together and had some drinks. They did not go out separately like they are horny twenty somethings on the prowl and they did not get annihilated. Their weekends consisted of doing chores around the house and taking me and my brother to the zoo or aquarium or apple picking. The last thing they want to do after working all week. (My mom worked mother’s hours at a certain point but we were always left with our grandmothers.) They were parents. They endured the bullshit of actual parenting because they took on the responsibility. That’s a sacrifice I’m not willing to make.

I shouldn’t say that all people parenting now are doing it half-assed and treat their kids more like an accessory then a full time job. There are a few people I know that are within my age group that actually parent. I congratulate them on their dedication. It’s unfortunate though that no matter how well these select few raise their kids, these other kids who have no boundaries and real parenting will without a doubt mess up the properly raised kids with all their disaffected antics. There’s really no winning.

So call me an asshole but at least I’m honest enough to know that I would not be willing to give up putting myself first. Perhaps if more of these “parents” were able to recognize this we wouldn’t be raising a generation of not being held accountable for anything, self-involved, porcelain twats. I guess it doesn’t really matter much to me, these kids aren’t my problem, I’m just one day closer to death, that’s a cause I’m committed to.

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