Category Archives: Sad but True

They Pull Me Back In!

 

I loved Pretty Little Liars. I was totally over the show and then entered, Pretty Little Liars: The Perfectionists.

I started watching Pretty Little Liars because of the hot girls, mainly Ashley Benson. She was a favorite of mine from a made for television movie in which she portrayed a bad girl cheerleader. It was a fine performance.

Anyway, I enjoyed the show, murders, secrets and hot high school girls, how can you go wrong?

Now, they have started with this spin off. I’m a tad skeptical, though I do watch it. They only brought back two of the gals from the original show. I don’t really think the cast of new girls are as hot as the previous cast.

I will watch, but I just don’t think it is going to come close to being as good as the original Pretty Little Liars. No Ashley Benson and no lesbian Emily Fields played by the lovely Shay Mitchell. The suspense portion better be good or they better start casting hotter girls.

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On The Outside, Looking In

Is it just me, but does anybody else feel like their entire life is like watching a movie? You are not in the movie, but you are in the audience viewing it.

I always feel like I’m on the periphery, like I’m not actually doing anything, and that I’m just watching these people, actors if you will, go about their plot lines.

It’s like all these things are happening to other people and nothing is happening to me. It’s like I’m stagnant or like I’m not actually real. I have no impact, not footprint. It’s like I’m a ghost.

I suppose part of this is that I would much rather watch other people. When you really observe what others are doing it is in fact like watching a movie, but any type of genre because you do not know if you will be horrified, excited, shocked or disgusted.

Even people who are not particularly  interesting to engage with, still have some sort of story arc. There is always something to watch.

I don’t feel like I do. I am at severe plateau. Do I write a second act? Everybody love a comeback story. Or do I continue to be a viewer?

Who needs to be in the center of attention? The life of an audience member brings anonymity and serenity, which sounds like paradise to me.

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Rock & Roll

Shouldn’t music from your younger days make you feel happy? Bring you to a nostalgic place of better times?

Every song that I hear from my childhood is depressing the shit out of me.

Why?

Well, I remember where I thought I would be in my life at this point and I’m so not even close.

It really rubs in the fact that I’m a bit of a loser. Why have none of these things I imagined my life looking like manifested?

I know I have made some poor life choices, but who hasn’t?

It seems like an impossibility to listen to music from the 1980’s and not feel upbeat, but it makes me feel like I’m in a fog of despair.

It is the realization that life has passed me by, I’m obsolete and not one thing that I envisioned is a reality.

I think it stings because there is no way to not recognize that this is true and their is no disputing it.

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Too Old

I was talking with a guy the other day who is in his 40’s and all I could think was that he is too old. Too old for what? Too old to have low self-esteem.

With age, you should not have low self-esteem, but if you do, you need to pull yourself together and pretend like you don’t to the outside world.

I hate myself, but I don’t have low self-esteem. Why? Well, because I am a better person than a lot of others, which in and of itself is rather frightening.

I understand feeling bad about yourself when you are younger because you are awkward and unsure, but how does a person enter midlife with these feelings?

As an adult you should have better coping mechanisms.

Who is going to respect a person who does not have self-worth? Nobody, that’s why when you are young and you display your low self-respect you get eaten alive by your peers, they see your weakness and they attack.

I’m too old for a lot of things like knowing who JoJo Siwa is or knowing the lyrics to Cardi B’s Money, but also for low self-esteem.

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Make A Move

Isn’t it the worst when you’re into somebody that you sort of know but you don’t really know how to make a move?

I never learned how to flirt and I’m fine with that, it’s not my thing, I am on the spectrum when it comes to hitting on people. I don’t see the need in game playing. I just have straight forward lines like, “You’re hot, let’s fuck around.” Though this is mainly when I’m under the influence, though not always. Sort of like the classic Seinfeld line of everybody getting together because of alcohol.

So how do you approach a person, that you  peripherally know? I don’t even know how to begin. What do you say? How do I even know that they are definitely single? So many questions. I have my own questions like, I wonder if he has soft lips? How much tongue does he use when he kisses? What does his dick taste like? Ditto on the cum.

I obviously know I can’t ask him these questions due to societal norms, but I’m not a good small talk person, so how do even get my foot in the door?

The most annoying part is not knowing for sure if he is with somebody else. Perhaps I should not even be wasting my time on this endeavor.

I guarantee that I will pussy out and not make a move.

 

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