Category Archives: Sad but True

That’s Pretty Remarkable

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I was talking with one of the guys that works in the mailroom and he said that I was the only person in the entire company that actually stops and talks with the mailroom guys. Not just a polite how are you, but an actual exchange.

Do you understand how insane that is? The company has thousands of employees. He has done the mail runs on every single route there is.

I am the only person that actually converses with them and that is really sad.

I don’t get why they wouldn’t talk to them? They are super nice, chill and by the way, when I call for something they are super helpful.

It’s a very bourgeoisie versus proletariat mentality, rather unsettling.

I also am friendly with the facilities and security people. I help them and they help me. Not to mention, they are basically some of the only people that you can actually have a fun conversation with.

It’s pretty pathetic that I’m the only one that will take the time to chit chat with them.

It’s like I always say, I’m a woman of the people, but I hate the people.”

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I Don’t Think It’s For Me

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I returned to work yesterday after a week of vacation

I must admit, I’m not meant to work. I’m better than working.

Some people really thrive in working conditions, I’m not one of them.

I really need to bite the bullet and pull of the Anna Nicole dream, really old, really rich, really dead.

The trifecta!

I would love to win it through gambling, but that will never happen. The Anna Nicole method is far more feasible.

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I don’t really drink anymore. In the course of an entire year I may have alcoholic beverages on maybe five occasions.

I went out last night. I had three Captain and Cokes. I wasn’t particularly drunk.

However, this morning, I am not so much hungover, but I am not one hundred percent.

I’m functioning, but am very delayed.

I can remember when three Captain and Cokes would be like nothing, though this was in the days of virtually never getting a hangover, oh sweet youth.

Maybe it isn’t the alcohol, maybe it’s the realization of the vast Keno losses incurred.

In the words of every loser gambler, I’m due to hit and hit big!

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My Eyes!

I recently viewed some rather unsettling photographs. They have haunted me for days. I can’t get over the exposure to the frightening imagery.

What was it that was so traumatizing? Skeletons from nearly a decade ago.

I saw a bunch of pictures of people that I had not seen in almost a decade.

They were haggard, bald, bloated and all around unappealing in any aesthetic sense. (Not that some of them were all that great ten years ago.)

Their spouses and significant others were also rough around the edges, to put it mildly. (Not to mention a lot of unwed mothers, which is just unsettling.)

Their children, well, I’m not going to speak ill of kids, but lets just say the inherited the wrong dominant genes.

This is precisely why I don’t like pictures of myself, don;t take them and don’t let others take them, at least not for the last seven years. I think the last known photograph of me is from a wedding I attended in 2010.

Though I know I could stand to lose a cool twenty pounds, I am aware that I don’t look as used up and poorly aged as these sad specimen.

These people should probably not be revealing any photographic evidence of their existence.

At the very least, use a filter people!


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Another Life

I was lunching with a friend the other day and I was telling him about a guy I work with who was telling me how he used to work as a tattoo and piercing artist and some of his stories from his times there.

I then offered up some of my tales of years long ago to the co-worker.

So my friend asked me what were my stories that I told, which I regaled. This triggered my memory and I gave my friend a few additional accounts of what was.

He was laughing, as they are comical, but also they are very atrocious.

Quite honestly, I was a really bad person. Horrible. I was so awful that when I tell these stories it seems like it was a completely other person who must’ve done these things.

I mean I was an asshole, a menace and a criminal.

Looking back, I feel like there is no way that it was actually me who carried out all these unspeakable acts.

I was a genuinely bad person.

It really feels like it happened in another lifetime.

Thank goodness I’m such an angel now.

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