Category Archives: Random

Detective Work

I know there is only one episode left of True Detective  but I have not decided if this season is good or not.

Obviously, the first season was the best. You can’t get better than Alexandra Daddario’s gargoyles.

The second season was an abortion.

This season is sort of good, but I’m not sure if it is good because of the disaster of the previous season.

I don’t think the acting is all that great, but I think the storyline is what is moving it along for me. I want to know the truth of what happened.

I guess I can make my final determination next week once it all ends.

I hope they don’t mess it up.

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Winter Blues

I am over the winter. I need to be like the ducks and fly south instead of staying up north and hating six months of the year.

It’s so cold, snowy and dark, yes, like winter.

I think I should just fall of the grid and go live on some desolate island down south.

Hey, if Gilligan and the rest could do it, I have a chance.

 

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Seems Pretty Practical

I have said for many years that Impractical Jokers is the funniest show on television. I was watching reruns the other day and I noticed a little image in the corner with information about tickets still being available for the Impractical Jokers cruise. I had no idea that there was such a demand for the show. I figured they do alright doing their live improv or whatever, but going on a cruise ship seems like a real commitment . I looked into this cruise, I must say, they have a decent line up of comedians, apparently the stigma of boat act is not what it once was. The pricing on it seems legit, but you would really have to be like mildly obsessed with the show to dedicate vacation time to go on this thing, you might as well just go on any cruise. To be fair, I don’t get the cruise thing anyways, but hey, these guys have a nice little racket going, let them profit while they can, God Bless em.

In my research of this cruise, I also found out they filmed a feature length movie. Okay, I get it, the Jackass boys did it and those films were pretty successful. This sounds an alarm though, like this is the peak and now comes the decline. The bigger they get, the more they are recognized which in turn means, you can’t keep pulling of the scenarios. So how does this all end?

Apparently with them hosting a game show on TBS called Misery Index. You gotta have a Plan B.

Hey good for them, capitalize while you can or in the words of The Game, “You gotta get your money right.”

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About to Burst

See the source image

I have developed a horrible habit of holding it in to the last possible minute. By it, I mean my urine.

They say it is really bad for your bladder, but how bad is it really?

This mainly happens when I’m at work for two reasons, the bathroom is very far away from where I sit and the bathroom is freezing.

Who wants to take their pants off in frigid temperature? Nobody.

However, I’m starting to worry that this may cause irreparable damage.

Yes, I am lazy, but in 2019, how is there not a method of being able to go in your pants and it automatically dissipating? Where is the real science when you need it? Enough with cancer, the cure is apparently not happening.

I guess I should be happy I can hold it now and just wait for all the weak bladder fun that will inevitably be heading my way.

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Let It All Go

 

See the source image I am obviously not getting in better shape so why not just let nature take its course?

I think with the new year, I have decided to just let myself go and get like crazy fat.

How fat?

Fat enough to be on a reality television show about my fatness. I would probably make better money than my current situation is giving me.

I want to get like so fat that I could be in fetish porn. So fat that people look at me and ask how a person can be so fat?

I would finally be allowed to wear my dream of velour sweat suits all the time.

Plus, once you go like that, you have to stay that way, otherwise there is a ton of extra skin that needs to get cut off, like an out of control circumcision.

Why not? Getting fat has helped so many undeserving females get famous. Amy Schumer, Lena Dunham, Lindy West.

I would be the least detestable of the lot.

I christen 2019, The Year of Fat.

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