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I was recently speaking with an intern. She is 20 years old and going into her senior year of college. She kept telling me I should quit my job because I’m better than the position I am in.

It made me stop and think. Present day Ruth would never just up and quit a job because she needs financial security and health care. If we were in a flashback mode, that version of Ruth would have quit this job so fucking fast. I would’ve been gone in a second and not given it a second thought.

What happened?

I sort of miss the level of I don’t give a fuck that I once had. I feel like I’ve been broken. I wish I could just leave like nothing.

I suppose with age you get smarter about how to handle things, but at least when I was young, it felt so good to just be done with a burden that I did not want to deal with.

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