Today is Friendship Day.
To celebrate they suggest reaching out to old friends.
Well, I hate all of my old friends, which is why I’m not friends with them any more.
Catch up with some of your current friends.
I would, but they all have busy, thriving lives and I would hate to bother them on a weekend.
Make some new friends.
Though I’m normally extremely introverted and painfully shy and hate meeting people, I intend on seeking out some new pals. Craigslist here I come, worse thing that happens is I meet some creepy duds, best thing that happens is I get violently murdered.