Everybody focuses on Cinco de Mayo, but whatever, it is super played out. you really want to rock out on May 5th, why not celebrate any of the following?
International Tuba Day: “musicians around the world who struggle with the weight and size of their big instrument.” I understand because I struggle with the weight and size of my instrument. (Hack dick joke.)
National Hoagie Day: “was created to give us a special day to enjoy and celebrate a big, tasty hoagie.You know of this big sandwich as a hoagie, a sub or a hero.” It’s way more American than celebrating Cinco. (Hack Nationalist joke.)
Oyster Day: celebrate by eating oysters or buying yourself some pearls. What lovely lady doesn’t enjoy a pearl necklace? (Hack sex joke.)
Space Day & International Space Day: “gives you the opportunity participate in the excitement and fascination of space.” Reach for the stars! (Hack joke.)