Spiral

I’ve been such a goody two shoes for the last five years or in other words, totally boring. The thing I’m most guilty of is fantasizing about doing things that are perhaps not so nice. There is a big part of me that wants to act on these daydreams. However, if I did do these things, it would legitimately fuck up my entire life. I have come to a crossroads of staying in the doldrums of monotony or setting things ablaze.

There is a part of me that wants to act out, not even to relieve the boredom, but just to see just how far I could run with these things. However, I think my old age is hindering me from having any liveliness. I never used to think about having to throw caution to the wind, I guess that is the big difference between youth and old age.

I want to do things that may be wrong, but not really care about the repercussions and destruction of lives. That’s the main issue, I’m too old for silly dramatics, if I could pull off all the things I wanted to do without there being any fall out then I would do them without blinking an eye. I guess that’s what everybody wants in the end, doing what you like with no accountability for your actions.

 

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