It had been so long since I had felt something that I was almost positive that I had lost the capacity to do so. It was not that I was completely numb, I would still get angry, annoyed, sad and depressed. I had lost the feeling of passion as most would describe it. I don’t really believe in the feeling to be passion, but rather more of an initial obsession of attraction. I had missed that obsessive compulsive feeling of non-stop thinking about a person. When you replay your sexual encounters with them over and over in your head, like when you would buy a new album years ago.
I actually enjoyed feeling like this because it made me feel more human. I liked it because I knew it would be only a matter of time from when this would fade into nothing more than indifference. That’s what is so amazing about people, you can be so invested and interested one day and the next day you couldn’t care less. It’s fascinating how quickly somebody you find so appealing can be tossed aside without any thought by only a matter of time. Time is what ruins things, but it is unstoppable.