Are You Still Good?

I have been such a goody two-shoes for almost five years. I mean if it wasn’t for my foul-mouth and religious beliefs I could easily be a nun. I stopped smoking cigarettes, partaking in illegal and prescription drugs, drinking alcohol heavily (maybe have a few drinks like twice a year), drinking coffee, being a whore. I mean I even gave up biting my nails and am working on dropping my sugar addiction, which by the way, the hardest one.

I have not done anything malicious to another person. I keep to myself, but am helpful when asked by others. I still have a horrible impatience streak, but I am better at tolerating idiocy in the professional sphere. I don’t aid in people’s cheating on their counterparts anymore. I don’t get entangled in idle gossip. I am conscious of being polite and mannered in the everyday minutia, not counting a road rage outburst here and there. I try and be a reasonably good person.

I would consider myself to be a “good girl” at this point as my actions are causing no harm. However, my thoughts are impure, to put it mildly.

For instance, I absolutely fantasize about doing things sexually with people that it would be inappropriate to have relations with, really dirty things. Is it wrong to think these things about a person who is married? I mean, I suppose there is some bad to it. I don’t even particularly find a lot of these people even slightly attractive, the taboo circumstances are what makes it tempting.

I guess the question is, if you think bad thoughts, but never act on them, are you still a good person?

A genuinely good person would not have such thoughts at all. I mean, sure I want to stick my thumb in the asshole of a construction guy that is walking in front of me, but I’d never do it. So I suppose this leaves me as a less than good person with great restraint.

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