I have no idea why this even popped into my head the other day, perhaps it was the passing of the holidays and how different my celebrations are now compared to 15 years ago, when I was fun.
It was Christmas Eve of 2003 and I had been out drinking all day and later met up with one of my friends who happened to own a bar. Perfect, I know. When I showed up he was already wasted too so what else could we do but continue to drink. Keep in mind we’re 3:00 AM wasted at 7:00 PM so everybody around us is appalled. Sobriety make you a judgy cunt.
So we decided to go spread our Christmas cheer to other drinking establishments. Don’t totally freak out, this is when drunk driving was in its last days of disco, if you will.
We ended up in some shit hole bar and there was like nobody there, just some randoms. We were sitting at the bar and there were these two girls sitting sort of near us. The girls were white and to put it politely, porkers. Yes, fatties, not even cute faced fatties. I’m sure you ask, well how could I know if I was crunked up? Well, if they are looking bad in that sort of state then I thank my lucky stars I never had to lay eyes on them in a sober state.
So my friend tried to strike up a conversation with these pigs and they totally were disgusted and blatantly snubbed him. Let me explain, the friend I was with, black guy. He was really good looking, like girls used to throw themselves at him, he even did some local print modeling. He was also always dressed to the nines. He’s like so non-threatening.
This obvious rebuff of the girls to him was glorious. I laughed so hard I almost fell off of my bar stool. The girls should be happy any guy would talk to them, so for a good looking dude to hit them up, they should’ve been blowing him in minutes.
I just can’t imagine being that unattractive and having racist pussy. If you’re irredeemably ugly, your cunt should be an EOE.