I know it is totally tacky and cliche because that’s how women do it. Women kill via poison. It’s really rare that a woman serial killer is violent, she tends to go the sneak attack route. Here honey, enjoy this delicious casserole and by delicious I mean poisonous. I’ve thought about how else I could get away with it but it does seem that the simplest manner would be to contaminate his food.
In my defense, I totally feel justified in disposing of that useless piece of shit, by him I am referring to my husband. I met him when I was eighteen and he was forty. I know, he’s like borderline pedo to some and a total God to others. I was super into him. Yes, he was well off financially, though looking at it now, it seemed like way more to the eighteen year old version of me. He seemed so interesting and funny. I thought he was super intelligent. Well apparently, that sort of all washed away with time and experience. Now fast forward ten years, I’m twenty eight and that dickhead is fifty. I have wasted my youth on him. Don’t I deserve reparations?
Why don’t I just get a divorce? Well, since I was young, dumb and liked his cum I totally signed a prenup. Basically, if this marriage does not work out I get nothing. This is like some freak version of indentured servitude or modern day slavery. I made one mistake ten years ago. Should I have to pay a punishment for the rest of my life? There’s only one way out that ensures my well deserved payday.
Now I just have to figure out how to research and implement this without a trail leading back to me. I mean, I can’t have something get messed up a la Gone Girl.