I am not taking any pleasure in this messy divorce between the lovely Amber Heard and Johnny Depp. That being said, my love of Amber is pure, so if she needs a shoulder to cry on, I’m here, which really speaks volumes considering I don’t do well with tears.

I don’t care about her potential windfall of divorce settlement cash.

I don’t care that her alleged claims of domestic abuse may be false.

I only care about her well-being and her sitting on my face.


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