Very Brief Interviews With Very Hideous Women: Deb

Q. How did you meet your new boyfriend?

Deb: Well, actually, he was the guy that escorted me out of the bar the night I supposedly caused a scene with my ex and his fiancee. His name is David and he’s super hot, he used to play Division 1 football for Ohio. I mean, he never went professional or anything but whatever. David is so gorgeous, I totally trust him too, I mean, I’ve looked through his phone and emails and stuff and he’s definitely not talking to any other girls. Plus, when he tells me he’s going to be somewhere, if I randomly do a pop-in, he’s where he said he would be. It’s nice to finally have a relationship where I don’t have to be worried all the time.

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