Very Brief Interviews With Very Hideous Women: Amy

Q. What happened at the Chanel store?

Amy: I’ve been seeing this new guy and he gave me a credit card so obviously, I went shopping. Anyway, this guy is like super duper rich and is technically separated from his wife but she’s like really old and dried up and jealous that her super duper rich husband is trading in her for a newer model, as they say. I mean, honestly, they were together for so long that she should be thankful he didn’t kick her to the curb sooner. Anyway, when I was ready to pay at Chanel they told me the card was declined and they cut it up in front of me, like who even knew they did that sort of thing in real life? It’s like something out of a corny 80’s movie. So I guess, the stupid, old buffoon ex-wife caught wind that I had this card and she cancelled it. Whatever, like that’s going to stop me from being with her old, wealthy husband. She must have dementia. I’m not letting this catch of the day go anytime soon, he’s got lots of money for me to spend.

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