So with the entire hullabaloo surrounding the whole Wisconsin Recall Election and it being a presidential election year I’ve started to think about who I will vote for come November. Now, in the 2008 election I voted for John McCain. My reasoning in doing so is because he seemed to have more of what I was looking for not because I really thought he would be amazing, he was the lesser of two evils in my opinion. (I know that we are a democratic country but why do we really only have two options? I say we resurrect the Whig party at the very least.) I think what sunk him was the Palin, woman V.P. angle. I definitely did not care for her because she seemed less informed then me about issues which is pretty horrifying as I’m pretty fucking dumb and there is a shit ton of stuff that is way over my head. McCain for me seemed like the smarter choice, he was older, more experienced, a P.O.W. He came off as responsible, like a grandfather. I mean who doesn’t love a grandfather, well unless there was some weird molestation or something, but I mean McCain didn’t seem like a molester-ish type of grandfather. His old school vibe appealed to me.
As for Barack Obama, I just thought that he was too green. Although many things about him I found relatable, such as his smoking cigarettes, having an undercover nerdy dorkishness and lack of a grandiose vocabulary, I ultimately thought that having too much in common with me is not a good thing. I mean we all have skeletons but for me the tipping point was the whole was-he-or-wasn’t-he-born-in-America deal. I’m not saying he was and I’m not saying he wasn’t (however the surfacing of that old pamphlet from his literary agency with his bio stating he was born in Kenya and raised in Indonesia and Hawaii is suspect) but at the end of the day if someone did not believe I was born in this country, perhaps due in part that my parents are Soviet immigrants, I would not have a problem showing them my birth certificate, which again makes that little situation suspect in my mind. I think we all lie about things and that’s fine. I know that telling tall tales is almost a pre-requisite in the political world ( I would much rather it be brutally honest, how great would it be to hear some politician be like, “Yeah, I stuck it in that college intern, she was a smoke show.”)but I think if you’re going to be a liar you better do it well, a la Bill Clinton if you will. Make that shit believable, I just don’t think Obama has those skills.
Now, focusing in on what is in store for November. The Challenger Mitt Romney up against the Champion Barack Obama. If I had to put money on it my bet would be on Romney. Yes, again the lesser of two evils is Romney. I think we gave Obama a shot but things are not working out so well. You need to know when to get out of an abusive relationship. Now, again I break things down into simpleton like terms. If this country is my kid, who do I want to babysit for the night while I go out on the town? Romney seems so proper and responsible with his moral values, he would definitely follow all the instructions I leave him, have my kid in bed on time and would just read quietly till I returned. Obama seems like he would let my kid stay up late and eat a bunch of junk food, have his friends over and have a mini-party off of my booze and order hardcore porn on Pay-Per-View. Now if I had to pick who I’d want to chill with it would be Obama, hands down but when it comes to whom I want to watch my kid I’m Team Romney.
I guess we shall wait and see who comes out victorious. I guess it doesn’t really matter though because none of us as citizens ever really wins. Of course if you want some real change you can always help me overthrow some shit and make my Ruthless Regime dictatorship a reality. I will remember those who fought for me and I will remember those who did nothing.