Ruth’s Aged Vagina Loves Dave’s Old Porn

It has been brought to my attention that I discuss my “genitalia” too much on this platform so today I will be discussing other people’s genitals. If you like porn and you like comedy then you’ll cream yourself over the program Dave’s Old Porn. The basic concept is comics and porn stars unite to give social commentary of sorts on porn films from the 1970’s and 1980’s. The host of the show is the ridiculously funny Dave Attell. If you are not familiar with Attell then go fuck yourself. Attell’s stand-up comedy focuses on the types of things that make the world go ‘round such as porn, sex, smoking, drinking, reality television and last but certainly not least, midgets. When you watch Dave Old’s Porn you can clearly see how quick-witted and sharp Attell is. I feel like if you were to spend a day with him it would be really funny but extremely mentally exhausting because he would run circles around you.

The show is half-way through the first season and the comedian guests thus far have included Whitney Cummings, Chelsea Handler, the Sklar brothers and a brief cameo by Daniel Tosh. Last night’s episode featured the hilarious Bill Burr. If you do not know who Bill Burr is, again, go fuck yourself. Burr’s stand-up is genuinely funny and seriously hardcore. The porn star guests have included Ron Jeremy, Belladonna, Bobbi Starr and Kristina Rose. Last night’s episode featured Nina Hartley who is still crazy hot.

The show is like a time warp. The porn stars of yesterday look like actual, everyday people unlike the stars of today who are all physically fit. I like the fact that the actors look like the common man with their gunts and pancake titties. It makes me feel better about my play-doh like physique. I will mention that the hair factor is a bit of an aggressive assault to my eyes. I was raised in the age of grooming the nether-regions so to see body locks galore is unsettling. The other reason it makes me feel as if I’ve time travelled is because the films deliver an unsanitary air. When I watch I feel itchy like when you show up late at a swinger’s club or go to a dirty Wal-Mart on a rainy day.

The show is super funny. I don’t like to critique others as I am clearly a positive person with a glass half-full personality. However, there is only one thing that is bothersome to me, Attell’s shirt. It is a black bowling shirt with a deck of cards on it. He wears it in every episode. He wore the same shirt on his Insomniac Tour DVD. This clearly shows my own issues with fixation because I detested the shirt then and I still hate it six years later, my disdain of this garb is haunting me. It looks like something an octogenarian would wear at a casino night at an old-folks home. Well I’ve drifted off on a tangent that is more of a reflection of my own psychoses and mental instability and is completely irrelevant to the show.

Make sure to tune into Dave’s Old Porn, Thursdays at 11:30 P.M. on Showtime. They replay it a bunch of times and it’s also on-demand. For the remainder of the season, Attell is slated to have comics Adam Carolla, Margret Cho, the completely underrated Greg Fitzsimmons and the down and dirty Jim Norton. (I can’t wait to see Norton’s episode as he is like a Rhodes Scholar of porn.) The show is definitely worth watching. How can you go wrong when your lead-in is Gigolos?

2 thoughts on “Ruth’s Aged Vagina Loves Dave’s Old Porn

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