SUMMER BLOCKBUSTERS, ALLEGEDLY 6.22.2018

Here are this week’s new releases as per Rotten Tomatoes.

Chris Pratt and Bryce Dallas Howard reprise their roles in the latest chapter of the Jurassic Park franchise, which finds their characters returning to the island to save the dinos from a volcanic eruption.
Directed By: J.A. Bayona
Ruth’s Review: Enough with this franchise.
Boundaries(2018) 57%
Vera Farmiga and Christopher Plummer star in this road-trip comedy about a single mother who is forced to drive her father from Seattle to Los Angeles after he’s kicked out of his retirement home.
Directed By: Shana Feste
Ruth’s Review: Edgy. So over this type of dramedy.
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I Feel How He Looks

This is Josh Brolin’s brother, Jess Brolin in 2014.

Read the article.

This is how I feel. Fuck Josh Brolin, I don’t care if he was in The Goonies.

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She Gon’ Give Me Top-Top

Totally embarrassed to say I like this.

 

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Hot Dogs Every Day

I remember when my friend Jeff explained to me why guys cheat down, he said, ” You can’t have filet mignon every night, sometimes you want a hot dog.” While this makes perfect sense, why would you be with the hot dog?

A guy I know, who is a really good looking dude, kind of a dick (they all are), good sense of humor, reasonably intelligent, yadda, yadda, yadda, has a girl that is so below his league. I don’t get it. There’s no way she was super hot and just went to average looking. This girl was always average looking. Don’t get me wrong, she is definitely cute and would be a steal for many, but not for him.

So how does this happen? I don’t understand it. I know that as men get older, like post mid-life, they start to care slightly more about then just a woman’s appearance, but young dudes don’t give a shit. For a woman to be with a guy the only have to be pretty and reasonably nice. That’s it. So why would this guy, who is young, be with this plain Jane? It doesn’t make sense.

I want to ask him, but I don’t want to ruin a relationship. I can’t be the person that puts the thought in his head and then it results in a split. I’m just curious. I’m sure she offers something, but what? She does not cook. She does not work. What is going on here?

I guess if you’re going to have hot dogs every day you can always jazz them up with different toppings.

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SUMMER BLOCKBUSTERS, ALLEGEDLY 6.15.2018

Here are this week’s new releases as per Rotten Tomatoes.

Superfly(2018)
Trevor Jackson stars in this updated remake of the 1972 film, and while we don’t have an official plot synopsis yet, the original follows a cocaine dealer trying to secure one last deal before leaving the business.
Directed By: Director X.
Ruth’s Review: This actually comes out today, yuck.
Pixar’s superpowered Parr family are back in this sequel that picks up literally right where The Incredibles left off and follows Elastigirl’s return to fame, while Bob and the kids try to get used to normal life.
Directed By: Brad Bird
Ruth’s Review: Not for me, but I bet it kills at the box office.
Tag(2018)
Ed Helms, Jon Hamm, and Jeremy Renner star in this high-concept comedy — based on a true story — about a group of friends who have been engaged in an elaborate, decades-long game of tag.
Directed By: Jeff Tomsic
Ruth’s Review: I can tell that this will somehow be fouled up though an interesting premise. Too bad, because Ed Helms is a really good comedic actor.
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