Royal Pain

Who cares about these upcoming nuptials in England? I don’t, not even a little. I’m annoyed that I know more about it then I want to just based on randomly watching local news channels and perusing the internet and reading headlines.

This is retarded. Who cares about some shitty old lady actress marrying an inbred pastey Englishman?

Perhaps it is because I live in America or maybe it’s because I just don’t give a fuck about idiocy.

That’s okay, the way England is going, eventually the royals will be gone when Sharia becomes the rule of the land.

So good luck and God bless. Or should I say Allahu akbar?

 

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The Book Was Better

I’m quite positive that the book will be better than the film, but curious to see how this goes. Guess we will see this Saturday at 8:00 PM.

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Summer Blockbusters, Allegedly 5.18.2018

Here are this week’s new releases as per Rotten Tomatoes.
Deadpool 2 (2018)
Everybody’s favorite Merc with a Mouth is back, and this time he’s got some new friends, as Deadpool teams up with a band of soldiers to protect a young mutant from being kidnapped by a time-traveling commando named Cable.
Directed By:David Leitch
Ruth’s Review: I’m over Ryan Reynolds doing Ryan Reynolds. I liked him in Two Guys, A Girl and a Pizza Place. He is as almost one tick pony-ish as John Krasinksi.
Book Club (2018)
Diane Keaton, Jane Fonda, Candice Bergen, and Mary Steenburgen star in this comedy for the older set, about four lifelong friends whose lives are rejuvenated when they all decide to read Fifty Shades of Grey together.
Directed By:Bill Holderman
Ruth’s Review: Can you imagine how bad that set must’ve smelled? The old lady, dry mouths alone must’ve been unbearable.
Show Dogs (2018)
If talking animals are your thing, you’ll want to check out this family comedy, which stars Will Arnett as a detective and Ludacris as the voice of his canine partner, as the pair go undercover to solve a case at a prestigious dog show.
Directed By:Raja Gosnell
Ruth’s Review: I suppose kids need something to watch. Glad to see Ludacris hasn’t sold out.
On Chesil Beach (2018) 59%
Oscar nominee Saoirse Ronan stars in this period drama that recounts the romance between a young grad student and a violinist from vastly different cultural bakgrounds.
Directed By:Dominic Cooke
Ruth’s Review: This just seems like every other romance film ever made. Way to change the game up Hollywood!
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The Legend of Ruth Sophy

I was out on the town the other night with a buddy I had not seen in a while. He suggested we go to some shitty local bar which I had not been to in probably 13 years. I was fine with the selection because I figured, it is a Tuesday night, I’m old and I won’t know anybody there.

So I went out in my best hoodie and high ponytail to play some Keno.

The bartenders switched shifts. We’re playing Keno and drinking.

Then the bartender who took over says to me, “You look really familiar.”

Jesus, Mary, Joseph and all the saints. Is this like a weird pickup. I’m an old lady who appears to be a degenerate drinker and gambler, don’t hit on me man. However it was worse then a bad pickup.

I shrugged him off like I’ve never seen him before because, well, I didn’t know the man. Then he says, “Did you used to bartend somewhere?” Jesus, fuck!

“Yes, a very long time ago, I’m a very old lady,” I replied, thinking this would be the end. Nope.

“Where?” he asked. So I said where and he scream, “Yes, that’s it,” and turns to the other bartender who had ended his shift and tells him where I bartended.

So now this means it could be really good or really bad for me, normally I was really drunk when I bartended so I have no idea if I pissed them off or not, so I made some jokes about it and they seemed cool with it.

At no point did I say my name to the bartender.

Picture it, later that evening a few more buddies showed up so we were all buying drinks for one another. So one of them wanted to buy a round and the bartender says, “Oh, Ruth got those.”

WHAT! This creep not only remembered exactly who I was but knew my name.

I suppose I should be flattered that eleven years since my departure of the bar scene not only am I still fondly remembered, but apparently I look just as good as I did over a decade ago.

It’s either that or I force fed them shots till they got DUIs.

 

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