And We Both Know All the Truth I Could Tell

I’m embarrassed to admit I like this song. I think Kesha is a despicable human being, but boy can she sing.

I do think the video is shit though.

Tagged ,

Too Early?

Image result for stolichnaya vodka orange

I began work at 7:43 AM today.

At approximately 8:02 AM I was drinking my Adirondack Mandarin Orange Seltzer (pay me for the plug.)

While sipping I wished wholeheartedly that there was Stolichnaya Orange Vodka in the bottle.

So, that sums it up.

 

Tagged ,

The Only Thing Worse

Image result for shhhhush

There’s some lady who works in my office building and she is a cunt. I don’t know her, but you can just tell.

For the better portion of a year she has refused to even acknowledge my existence. Last week she was forced to interact with me and surprise, surprise, she was a cunt. I mean she was totally polite, but you can just tell the phony energy exerted by her having to be even remotely cordial.

I just assumed that this interaction was it. I would never have to speak with her again. She would just go back and ice me out which I would be perfectly fine with.

Nope, apparently we are new best friends because every time she sees me she does the faux hello. This is far worse than being snubbed. At least with a snub I don’t have to talk, but this is small talk at gunpoint. This is hell!

It’s so strained. Can’t we just go back to the ignoring? It was a simpler time.

 

Tagged ,

Cheese Please!

Today is National Cheeseburger Day!

Delicious!

I wanted to celebrate with some of my heroes from my youth that were staunch supporters of the burger industry.

Wimpy would gladly pay me Tuesday for a hamburger today, but never wanted cheeseburgers.

A rather interesting development.

My theory is that he was lactose intolerant which is rather sad because cheese on a burger makes it so much better.

The Hamburglar was the man though because he robbed McDonaldland blind of any burger he could get his hands on. He was like the Robin Hood I always wanted to be. Steal the burgers and then stuff myself till I was sick.

I salute both of these fine men on National Cheeseburger Day!

 

Tagged

Better Than That

A buddy of mine has always had a knack with the ladies. The fact that he hasn’t died of some bizarre STD is a miracle and also a devastation.

Girls throw themselves at him, which is sort of pathetic, but I must say he pulls in pretty good looking girls.

He was telling me about some of the girls who are practically begging him to get bang them out. I don’t know why he even wants to mess with some of them. It is not because they are married or in committed relationships, though I don’t know why you want that stress. I am perplexed by his contemplation of fucking them because quite frankly they are low level pussy.

I get that pussy is pussy, but if you can get girls that range from cute to hot, then why even waste your time?

If somebody is offering you free top shelf vodka or free  swill they have in the well you go for the high end shit.Why would you waste your time with Mr. Boston when you can have Grey Goose?

I know that guys like to mix it up, but if you have a consistent stream of lookers that are whores in bed, why would even want to stick it into a single mom? The bottom’s been knocked out.

I guess that’s why you have to love guys, they don’t give a fuck. Their simplicity is refreshing, but bizarre.

Tagged ,
%d bloggers like this: